Scream
by Ruby Rosetta Red
Summary: The aftermath of the events of 'Pariah'. Clark struggles to come to terms with his loss and his grief. Chloe is a worried bystander. Written after the episode aired.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The characters of Smallville belong to who they belong to. I just love to write about them.**

**Chapter One:**

All his fault. The accusation was embedded in his brain, indelibly so. She was dead because of him and nothing anybody said could change that.

He should've believed her when she'd protested her innocence but old habits were hard to give up. He'd wanted to believe her, wanted to with all of his heart and soul but he'd been burned too many times before to allow himself that luxury. Just this once he should've been more forgiving. She'd died believing he didn't trust her.

The loft was blessedly silent though life went on around him. His father worked the land just like he always did; his mom has left to work another shift at The Talon. She'd asked him whether he'd like to come along. He hadn't been stupid; he'd known why she'd asked. The darkness he'd retreated into was welcoming right now; it tried to protect him from what he was truly feeling. He knew that his mom didn't want him to rely on it too much, to spend too much time locked in his thought processes, to become damaged by them. She remembered, just as he did, the last time he'd let that happen.

He moved from his position on the floor, from leaning up against the beaten up old sofa, staring at nothing in particular and he walked slowly, barefoot, to the desk. It was cluttered as always with papers and textbooks, pencils and pens. It reminded him of the mundane-ness that was life in general. School, mom, dad, the world, it all still happened, everything kept moving. It was just inside of him that everything had stopped still.

He reached down and opened a drawer and there it was, amidst the clutter of paperclips, broken pencils and dust. The necklace that Alicia had made for him, a parting gift she said she'd made for him at Belle Reve. How could he have not seen it for the ruse that it was? She'd asked him to go to California with her, to run away from the pressures of life and he'd refused. He felt that it was better to face up to life, complications. He knew that running away didn't work. Alicia hasn't been strong enough to do that by herself. And with the aid of red kryptonite, she'd gotten what she wanted after all. Well, almost all of it. To describe that wild time in Las Vegas as insane was being polite, it had been intense, it had felt right at the time but then again anything felt under the influence of that rock was intense. And Alicia had known, how, he still wasn't entirely sure but he cursed his stupidity over and over until it had become a mantra inside of his head.

The longer that he looked at the necklace, the more he swore those treacherous little rocks glowed. He reached inside to pick it up. He wanted to wrap his fist around it and squeeze and embrace the release that would surely follow. He paused. It wasn't the answer. He had to be strong. With a growl of frustration, he slammed the drawer shut, hardly aware that the almost antique piece of furniture rocked beneath the onslaught. He turned, pulling his fingers through his hair. He felt claustrophobic, like he was going crazy and he needed some space to try and clear his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

The days were indeterminably long. Seconds dripped into minutes that seeped into hours. He knew that he was the main topic of conversation at Smallville High. After all, he was the guy who'd took off and got married in Las Vegas, he was the guy who's girlfriend, who by the way was of questionable sanity to begin with, was hung by a Smallville student who'd made himself judge and jury over the morality of this town. But nobody asked him anything, or asked him how he was. That was fine with him, it was still too raw. He didn't want to share anything and have the pain of grief ease it's grip around his heart. The devastation he'd felt when he'd found her still cut deep into his psyche and showed no signs of easing. It fooled him sometimes though; just when he thought it didn't hurt to breathe, to even smile sometimes, her face would flash into his mind. Her smile, the way she would look at him and then it would suddenly be replaced by a final everlasting memory. Her lifeless body, her death painting her in unnatural hues of grey, purple, blue. The brutality of it left him reeling, blinking back tears, and choking down his rage. He hadn't been there to save her, the one person he should've saved and he'd failed her. He couldn't ever forgive himself for that.

-----

He sat alone in the cafeteria, his lunch untouched. The students were keeping their distance from him and he wanted to yell at him that he wasn't contagious, what had happened to him wasn't infectious. He didn't know which was worse, the shunning or the pitying looks. Chloe saw him and he looked miserable. She went over to his table, put her tray down and slid across to sit opposite. His head came up, as if her presence had startled him. For a second they just looked at each other. Chloe wasn't entirely sure how to talk to him, did she offer him more sympathy or did she treat him as she normally would? She figured he'd had a gut full of sympathy and maybe he'd welcome a little bit of normality returning to his life.

"Are you going to eat that or stare at it all day?" she quipped. He looked at her again and he saw the little twinkle in her eye. A tiny smile ghosted across his face.

"I'm not really hungry," he admitted.

"You haven't eaten all day Clark, you need something" she reminded him gently.

"You sound like my mom"

"Good, because you should listen to her. I know you're going through a tough time right now and I sympathise…"

"Don't Chloe, right now I've had my quota of sympathy" he interrupted.

Startled she stared at him, heard the slight roughness in his voice, which he tried to temper with a slight smile but she saw his pain in all its glory right there and then. Chloe leaned towards him, lowering her voice.

"Do you really think Alicia would want to see you this way?" she queried bluntly.

"Don't…"

"But I do Clark. She's gone, you can't ever bring her back and this guilt trip that you're on right now is not helping you" It was brutal but it needed to be said. She sighed raggedly and she reached across the table and covered one hand with her own. She gave it a little squeeze.

"You're a mess Clark. You look like you haven't slept, you're not eating and you're not doing yourself any favours" he lifted his head.

"I appreciate your concern Chloe" she watched him stand up. He towered over her.

"Where are you going?" she enquired. He sighed, looked around himself as if just being here was too much for his overloaded system.

"Somewhere. Anywhere. Just not here"

-----

He was back in his loft, staring at the necklace in the drawer. Those tiny red rocks glowed in all their beauty. His fingers itched to touch them. He wanted to embrace the power that they released. It would just be so easy. He could pick up the necklace, wrap his palm around it and close his eyes. He could almost sense it, the heat, the rush invading his nervous system, offering instant amnesia from real life. He could enfold all that power and be a million miles away from here and his memories in a minute. The lure was strong. He reached down to pick it up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

Amazing. The rush was amazing. He felt it rip through his entire central nervous system and he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. His eyes opened and he wrapped the necklace twice around one wrist, the sleeve of his shirt hiding it from view. His conscience was quieter now; the voices of recrimination that had bounced around the inside of his skull had faded to an ignorable level. He decided there and then that red kryptonite was the best kind of anaesthesia.

-----

Chloe Sullivan had known since the night before Alicia Baker's murder that Clark Kent was special. She'd seen with her own two eyes just what he could do, that what he'd done had defied the laws of physics, of gravity and just about any other natural law she could think of. What she wasn't sure about was whether Clark's abilities were because of the meteor shower, because if not, then the implications of what she'd witnessed that night were huge.

She stood in the centre of the Kawatche caves and guided the torch's beam across the ancient illustrations. Clark was deeply fascinated with this place. He'd told her in the past that he liked to come here and visit, look at the paintings and just chill out, he'd said that the place gave him some kind of peace. Maybe it was more than that, perhaps the answers were here.

The sound of a footstep had her swinging around in fright. The light sliced through the semi-darkness and picked out a figure stood up against one rough-hewn wall. It took her a second to recognise Clark. His hand came up to shield the light beam from his eyes.

"Clark!" she exclaimed, clutching at her chest. He straightened.

"Didn't mean to scare you. What are you doing here?" he took a step towards her and she lowered the torch.

"I could ask you the same question" he looked at her, eyeing her up and down, the expression on his face something she wasn't entirely comfortable with.

"We're not talking about me," he answered. Chloe watched him turn and walk back to where he'd been standing. He'd changed his clothes. Instead of the usual plaid shirt and jeans, he now wore a plain coloured shirt of deepest navy blue, almost black. The jeans were the same but the combination suited him.

"I've never spent much time here and I was curious" she replied. Clark swung around.

"You were curious? Come on Chloe, why don't you admit it? You were looking for me. And now you've found me" she frowned.

"What's with the attitude Clark?" she watched him push his hands into the pockets of his jeans and rock back on his heels for a second.

"Maybe I don't like you intruding on my quiet time" his voice was low but Chloe heard every single word of it and read the nuance of it loud and clear.

"I wanted to take a look around Clark, is that a problem? I didn't realise that you actually owned this place, I thought it was open for anyone to see?" she retorted acerbically. She turned around and shone the torch light back over the paintings on the wall. Apparently they were over five hundred years old.

"You're really interested in these?" Chloe turned her head slightly when she heard his voice close to her ear. She'd been so immersed in them that she hadn't heard him approach.

"Yeah, I really am. Can't you just imagine them being inscribed into these walls five centuries ago? I mean that's before the Founding Fathers, the Revolutionary War. What kind of people did this? Who were the Kawatche tribe, did they think that their work would be discovered here half a millennia later and more importantly why did they do this?" she turned around to look at him more fully. He saw the sparkle in her eyes. When she was on a roll he had to admit, she really came alive.

"They left them here to tell a story. Didn't you know that already Chloe?" his voice was almost a drawl and the animation faded from her face.

"Are you on drugs?" Soft laughter greeted her question.

"I wish I was, it would make everything that much easier," he murmured. Chloe sighed.

"Clark…" she went towards him and halted when he took a step backwards.

"Forget that I said anything" he replied darkly. She took another step towards him and he retreated again.

"You're really starting to freak me out!" she exclaimed. He just looked down at her.

"I'm freaking you out Chlo'? Can you just imagine what I'm doing to myself?" he retorted. He had the satisfaction of seeing her look at him as if he'd completely lost his mind. He spun around and walked away. For a mini second Chloe watched him leave before chasing after him.

She caught up with him at the mouth of the caves. She reached out and grabbed his wrist, felt something beneath the cuff of his shirt. He stopped and looked at her. He tried to pull his hand away but she pushed the sleeve up and her eyes widened at the makeshift bracelet that he wore. It wasn't the fact that he wore it, just that the red stones in it glowed. Clark yanked his arm free and continued to walk away.

"Clark!" he didn't stop and she watched him leave.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

_'They left them here to tell a story'_. Clark's words echoed around her brain as she slowly walked around the cave interiors. He sounded so sure of that. Cave paintings like these ones usually did tell a story of civilizations gone by, but she didn't know where to start with this one. She stopped at one illustration. One man holding ten or so other men in his grasp. Okay, they were basically stick figures but the meaning was plain. The one man on his own had the strength of all of the men that he carried combined. There was no such man in history with strength like that. But then she remembered how Clark had caught that car, caught it like it was a football, straightened it and placed it carefully on the ground. Her breath caught in her throat. She shook her head and walked on.

-----

He had control. It was something he rarely possessed with red kryptonite. He dropped the necklace back into the drawer and braced himself as the influence of the stones roared out of him. His knees trembled slightly and he sighed deeply, his eyes still closed. He straightened and turned and saw Chloe standing on the staircase watching him. For a second they just stared at each other until he turned away, walked towards the sofa.

"What the hell just happened there?" she demanded, her strident tone like a whip crack in the silence.

"It's none of your business" he retorted, wondering how much of it she'd witnessed.

"You're falling apart and I'm worried, that makes it totally my business" he turned as he saw her storm towards his desk. At the same time he lunged towards them both. In an instance Chloe had ripped the drawer open and pulled the necklace out. She turned to him, holding it up for him to see and he skidded to a halt. It dangled from her fingertips, the red jewels sparkling in the late afternoon sun.

"What is this?" she enquired. Clark just stared at it.

"It was a gift from Alicia," he admitted. Chloe looked at it and scooped it into her palm.

"It looks like it's made with that red meteor rock from those class rings a couple of years back" she looked back at him.

"I don't recall Alicia owning a class ring. And the only ones that are left are those who missed the recall, and_they_ came from my office where they were firmly locked away" Clark stared at the necklace. In the dying light the stones glittered invitingly.

"You'd have to ask her where she got them from. Oh wait, you can't. She's _dead!_" he spat and glared at her. He turned and walked to his sofa. For a second Chloe stared at his back, a little stunned that he would speak to her that way before she took a deep breath and followed. In for a penny as the old saying went. Clark lowered himself down onto his sofa and looked up at her.

"You really don't know when to give up, do you?"

"Not where my friends are concerned. You know, there was something you said to me at the caves…" she sat down opposite him. He glanced at her and then looked away but she knew that she had his undivided attention.

"You said that the paintings were left to tell a story. Which got me thinking… and I saw those cave drawings through an entirely different perspective"

"Yeah, like how?" she looked into his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I think they're telling your story. The hero of the Kawatche people… Naman is it? I think that's you" She stared at him, waiting for his reaction. A few seconds ticked by. He sighed loudly, rudely.

"I think you've been reading too many of those green meteor rock tales Chloe…" he replied and stood up. She watched him, never moving from her seat.

"You think so?" he paused and turned to look at her. He looked big, angry.

"I know so. They are stories Chloe, nothing else!" his voice rose. Slowly she got to her feet.

"I saw you Clark. The night before Alicia died. She called you on your cell phone; she told you that she couldn't stop the car…" something flickered in his eyes.

"You're wondering how I knew that… there is only one way I could know that Clark… if I were in the car with her myself. She teleported us out of the car and I saw you. I saw you catch that car with your bare hands!" her eyes widened dramatically as she mentally relived those amazing few seconds. A short period of time that had altered her life forever.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: **

For a few moments Clark couldn't even speak. All he was aware of was that his heart pounded in his chest, his mouth felt incredibly dry and he was racking his brain to think of the perfect way to logically explain to her what had happened that night. Nothing came to mind and he could only look at her helplessly.

Chloe just regarded him. He looked utterly panic-stricken. She walked slowly towards him.

"It all makes perfect sense now. All those inexplicable things I just put down to coincidence or just pure mystery, it was you. Why you kept disappearing the way that you did, one second you were there and literally the next you weren't" Clark dragged a deep breath into starved lungs.

"What are you going to do?" his voice was quiet. She looked at him quizzically.

" Come on Chloe! You've come across the story of the century… you publish this, you'll make the front page of every newspaper in the country" Chloe rolled her eyes.

"You think I'd publish this?" her voice rose in amazement. He shrugged.

"Why not?" Her jaw dropped when she realised that he was being serious.

"Because you're my best friend, that's why! Clark what do you take me for?" she exclaimed.

"I remember the look on your face when you were affected by that truth serum last year" he told her and she shook her head.

"Your friendship means far more to me than a front page headline Clark" she assured him. He looked at her as though he didn't believe or trust her and that rankled.

"You still don't believe me do you?" He didn't respond, he turned his back to her instead and she felt her throat close up as tears crowded the backs of her eyes. She stared at his back and willed herself not to cry.

"I would never tell anyone what I saw that night Clark," her voice was choked, husky. Clark turned around and looked at her.

"You know that's almost exactly what Alicia said. And she didn't keep her promise" he watched Chloe's eyes widen at the accusation.

"Maybe she thought it was something someone else should know, so you wouldn't have to go through what you do, alone" Clark clenched his fists.

"It wasn't her decision to make. Chloe you have no idea what you've let yourself in for!"

"Then why don't you tell me? I want to listen, I want to help, you just have to take that all important first step and trust me" He sighed loudly and just shook his head.

"It's too much. Pete couldn't handle it, that's why he left, he couldn't trust himself to keep my secret and it tore him apart. I won't put you through the same thing, I can't"

"Wait a minute. Pete knew?" Clark looked at her and nodded.

"He's known for a couple of years now" he admitted and if at all possible Chloe's eyes widened.

"He never let on," she murmured to herself. Then she looked at him again.

"I already know what you're capable of doing Clark. Why won't you tell me the rest? Do you honestly think that I can't handle it? I've told you about my mother, couldn't you afford me the same respect?"

"Trust is something you earn Chloe, you've told me that many times before,"

"And here we are, back on the trust issue" she snarked, folding her arms. The necklace was still in her hand and she tightened her grip on it. Then she opened her hand and looked at it.

"The stones look so pretty in the light don't they Clark?" she looked up at him to see his eyes on the necklace.

"What do the red meteor rocks do to you exactly?"

"Who says that they do anything to me at all Chloe?" she sighed harshly and held out the necklace to him. He eyed it warily.

"Take it Clark. If it doesn't do anything to you then for God's sake, take it" she snapped. He didn't move, his gaze flitting carefully between her expression and the necklace. To touch the necklace, feel the kryptonite smooth away all his troubles, his pain, was overwhelming. He took a step backwards. He turned and walked towards the window instead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

Chloe watched him walk away from her. Her breath whooshed from her lungs, the first inclination she realised, that she'd been holding her breath in the first place. It had been a hunch about the necklace, and it had played perfectly. She dropped the necklace on the desk and walked towards him. She stood a little way behind him, close enough to touch him but far enough away to give him a little bit of space. His hands were shoved in the front pocket of his jeans and he was staring straight ahead, or at least she assumed that he was. But tension lined every single fibre of his body.

"The red meteor rocks do affect you in some way, don't they?" she kept her voice low, quiet and non-accusatory. The last thing she wanted to do was provoke him but she wanted him to at least be a little more honest with her. Seconds ticked by. She opened her mouth to speak again.

"They make me someone else" he admitted, his voice so low that she almost missed it. She watched him slowly turn around and look at her. She saw the defeated expression in his eyes, the resignation.

"Like who?" she enquired curiously. He sighed.

"Someone I'm not, but who I'd like to be…someone else" he walked past her and headed for the beat up old sofa. She watched him slowly lower himself down into it. He hunched forwards and stared at his hands. She went over and sat down beside him, again keeping that safe distance.

"Actually, he's a part of me that I keep firmly bolted down, but he's always there and the red meteor rock brings him to life,"

"Like back in Metropolis?" he looked at her, startled that she'd remembered that time almost a couple of years ago and just nodded.

"Exactly like Metropolis" he confirmed. Something occurred to her.

"And when we got those class rings, you really went off the rails then also" Clark looked at her.

"That's the effect it has on me. It strips everything down to the barest of essentials, no conscience, no guilt, nothing and the longer that I'm on it, the worse I can get," She stared into his blue-green eyes.

"I remember Metropolis. I remember how you were with me. It all makes sense now. And also why you were so attached to that ring," Then a thought occurred to her.

"If the red meteor rocks make you act out of character, what do the green rocks do?" She watched as Clark inhaled deeply and stared at his hands again.

"They make me sick, they hurt me, make me feel pain" he admitted and glanced at her again. She was wide-eyed as she digested this piece of information. He turned to look at her more fully.

"You can't tell anyone that you know Chloe. Could you imagine what lengths some people would go to if they knew the truth about me? Or the fact that you know about it? I need to be able to trust you completely"

"You can. Always" she answered.

"That's what Pete told me too" his voice was sad. Chloe reached over and put her hand on his wrist.

"With respect, I'm not Pete. When I said you could trust me, you can" his eyes scanned her face, and then he nodded.

"Alright."

**-----**

It didn't make Clark feel any better that Chloe knew. There had been times in the past that he'd wanted to sit down with her and tell her the truth about himself, his origins and abilities but he'd always been unsure of how she would react. He also hated the fact that any decision to share his secret had been taken out of his hands. He didn't doubt Chloe's word, she protected press sources with equal loyalty but this was something entirely different. It could be life threatening to both of them.

The restlessness returned anew. A combination of stressing over Chloe knowing the truth about him and other possibilities had him pacing the length of his loft space. Chloe had left him a couple of hours ago, she'd also left behind the necklace, had dropped it back into its drawer and looked at him as if to tell him that she was trusting him to behave.

He lay the wildflowers down by the smooth grey marble tombstone and stared at the inscription announcing that it belonged to Alicia Baker, beloved daughter to all who looked at it. He sighed quietly. Today was the first time that he'd been able to look at it without wanting to smash it into powder. The pain was still there, somewhere but not as intense as it had been, not as strong. More like an ache. The cemetery was deserted, a faint breeze rustling through the branches above his head. He remained crouching down and then he reached out, touched the cold stone, his fingers briefly tracing over her name.

"I know that you told Chloe about me," he felt faintly silly talking to the gravestone initially but that feeling soon left him. Lana talked to her parents often and they'd been gone a lot longer. He gave pause, looking around and listening intently. He looked back at the marker.

"You had no right to do that but you'd argue with me that you did but it's okay now, I get why you did it, you didn't want me to have to go through my life alone," he half smiled but then it slipped away.

"I'm sorry Alicia. I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough. I'm the one person you needed to believe you and I let you down and I'll never forgive myself for that," he slowly got to his feet. He felt calmer, more reflective now. Didn't feel like screaming any more.

**END.**


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